Would You Rather Be Loved or Feared?

Be Feared or Be Loved?

Joseph Mayuyo


Photo by Jaqueline Fritz on Unsplash

To be loved, or to be feared? We’ve all been told that love drives away all fear. It sounds great, but it’s likely not true. It is much better to be feared.

I would rather be loved, but being feared has a lot more benefits. In a perfect world, love is automatic. Don’t forget though, that we don’t live in a perfect world.

I would rather be loved because fear is something that we all face.
Here’s the problem with rather than being loved.
Who was the last person you hurt? Who was the last person that hurt you? Chances are that you love that person. This brings me to my main point.

We’re more likely to hurt those we love before we hurt those we fear. I look at old conversations I had on Facebook Messenger with my mom, who passed away in 2017. I couldn’t believe I treated my mom so poorly. Yet, I loved her.

I see some couples who should have never had a baby together. I know deep down inside they probably want out of the relationship. Why do they stay together with no love? Must be love, right?

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

Absolutely not, it’s all fear. Fear of each other? Maybe. Fear of being alone? Certainly. Fear of child support and wage garnishments. Is that even a question?

What do the Scriptures say? “The Fear of God is the Beginning of Wisdom.” If that’s the case, what does fear mean? Love makes us do stupid things. Love makes us clumsy. We break up, we make up. We love both unconditionally and “At-Will.”

Fear and love can be synonymous. Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? I’ve come to this conclusion. Love and Fear have the same amount of energy. They both can be manipulated to cause pain.

Fear and love aren’t exactly enemies. If you love someone, you certainly have fears of losing that person. This fear makes us wise. It prevents us from infidelity. It’s not fear because we’re afraid, it’s fear of losing everything.
You also lose yourself as a side effect of your actions.

At the end of the day, you cannot love, unless you first fear.

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Joseph Mayuyo

I write about being a functional addict in dysfunctional relationships. Living in a world that wasn’t created for us to thrive, I write to keep us alive. #Hope