I Can’t Write For Sh*t

The self-sabotage of being unrich

Joseph Mayuyo


Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

I’m going to make this short because for the last few weeks I haven’t had any inspiration or motivation in me to finish an article I started writing.
I think I write better without Grammarly but still, I have the free version now. Let me also preface by saying that I’m probably complaining so if you ain't feeling it, you can leave now. Thanks for giving me a shot.

Being poor is a curse unlike any other. It’s a particular kind of poor — to be specific, it’s being on the poverty line, but having enough to hide the fact. I knew a girl once who dressed herself to the drip and her makeup was never off point. You would never think that she was extremely living beyond her means unless you spent days with her on a cocaine binge.

I happen to be on the receiving end. Don’t get her wrong, she doesn’t spend all of her money on cocaine and she isn’t even a junkie. She’s a “holier than thou” Christian girl who’s in living in denial. So much denial, it’s only the most expensive of drugs she’s addicted to. Here’s the kicker, as I said, she is pretty. So pretty that you couldn’t imagine her ever cheating on her boy.

Don’t let her appearance fool you, she’s a guilty one. Here I am, laying next to her as she breaks the soft rock down into a powder. The first time we did this, she used her driver’s license. I could see that she learns fast. She licks the edge of the razer. Oh yeah, she learns fast.

Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

I’m not trying to be mean, I don’t make fun of anyone’s financial situation. The only reason why I am so fascinated is that she does so well hiding it. It’s Hollywood-worthy, the way she can carry herself. I mean, she’s dating a guy just because he sells cocaine. She doesn’t even do it with him, she does it with my broke ass. Both of our broke asses, high as hell, sweating all over each other. The inevitable happens.

I hope she doesn't feel some type of way. I tell her not to worry, and to blame it on the cocaine. A guy and a girl can’t ever be best friends. Well, they can, but who would put themselves through that? I don’t make a big deal out of sex now. Sometimes I think it’s better to get that out the way. Especially at our age, we’re never going to be this young again.

In fact, we only did it one time, and still stayed friends. Until of course, one of us started feeling some type of way, and that’s when everything changed. I miss her. I thought she felt the same way. I was right, she doesn’t feel some type of way. She tells me not to worry and to blame it on the cocaine. WHY DID YOU SUCK MY DICK IF YOU DIDN’T EVEN LIKE ME BACK?

Photo by Colin Davis on Unsplash




Joseph Mayuyo

I write about being a functional addict in dysfunctional relationships. Living in a world that wasn’t created for us to thrive, I write to keep us alive. #Hope