How to make a eulogy STAND out…

Yo… I don’t know why but my family always turns to me to carry out a eulogy for our recently departed. Well, at least, I’m good for something. Shit, I might have to do my own eulogy! Oh no, not this again!!! (12:00 AM).

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Sorry about that… I had a little panic attack after writing that last sentence about executing my own eulogy. Let’s carry on, shall we?

Tough subject but I won’t take up too much of your time.

If you’re reading this — maybe you’ve been wondering how to deliver a proper eulogy. First off, I did pre-write my tribute — to mitigate the possibility of going up to the pulpit and ……

Completely lose my shit.

I am going to show you the video of how I delivered my eulogy for my mama.

→I suggest turning on the subtitles because I am not the most eloquent and clear speaker. ←

Here’s my attempt to captivate an audience at a funeral:

I wrote this the night before the viewing.

When you’re going through the loss of a parent, you get so busy trying to arrange everything; you don’t even have time to mourn or process the situation.

“I was numb without the novocaine. “

In fact, I didn’t cry about the whole situation until about half a year later. This is what I posted on my Instagram when grief finally hit me.

I hope you don’t think that I baited you into reading a blog about my sad life. The video (if you watched it) was an ideal formula on how to make a eulogy stand out. But, I understand that you might be working right now and can’t watch the video so I’ll place it right under this paragraph.

“Hello everyone, Good Evening,
Thank you all for coming to celebrate the life of my mom.”

“I am Joseph. Her last son. Her favorite child from the three of us.”

(Attendees all laugh)

“We have heard such beautiful and great stories about my Mom.
In gatherings such as this one, we often hear of who the person was.
And what the person did
. In this short time that I am up here…
I invite you to listen to who my mom was notAnd some things that my Mom didn’t do…”

“My Mom was not selfish. In fact, she always put everyone before herself.
She was not a quitter. If she were, I wouldn’t be standing before you this evening.

She was not the kind of person who looked for personal gain.
Rather, her gain was in sacrificing to see the increase in happiness in the lives of others.

She was not a follower.
Have you ever heard that the most genuine leaders lead from behind?”

Nelson Mandela said, “It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger!”

“My friends told me that: your mom is a legend!
She taught us things that our parents didn’t even teach us!

Those are the things that hit close to home, and I will always treasure.
The long nights my mom and I argued; the tears that we dropped.
All were necessary, to help me shape into the man that my mom needs me to be.

My Mom is a LEGEND and what do we do for LEGENDS?

We don’t just clap our hands, but we get up, and give a standing ovation, for the best performance we have ever seen!”

The attendees all stood up, and we all stood there clapping for a minute or so. Some might think that this is inappropriate, but they can go fuck themselves.

Photo by Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash

“A eulogy is not to be taken lightly. It should be delivered in a manner that is consistent with how strong your relationship and bond was with that person.”

I didn’t want tears; I wanted a standing ovation because my mom went through hell trying to raise my ass (my sisters too).

I hope you found this helpful in any way. If you are going through a loss right now, I wanna send my condolences to you and your family during this difficult time. Take it one day at a time and always trust in God or the Universe. It doesn’t make sense, and that’s why I wrote this poem.

If you got this far, thank you for listening and reading! Visit my blog when you get the chance! (Published first on Medium by Joseph Mayuyo from Abstractdiscovery.com)

Startup Manager at Abstractdiscovery.com, Building My Personal Brand Through Storytelling. A former cult member and street pharmacist with relationship advice.